A pal of mine hosted a tasting where you drank the same martini whilst first holding a piece of silk in your hand, then again whilst holding a piece of velvet. The two drinks tasted different or at the very least had a different feel. This of course could be due to the convincing running commentary provided by the drinks expert, but don’t knock it, he was onto something there.

Here at MOJO we have been subconsciously pairing drinks since we played the very first song. Tracy Chapman’s “Gimme One Reason”, a most haunting tune that sailed our ship real good. We stood nervously and excited as our old pal Skip purchased the very first round – beers for all of us yey! I believe he still has the receipt. As the volume kicked up and the beers flowed chilled from our shiny new fridges which we were so proud of, not to mention relieved to have finally received via a slow boat from Milwaukee USA. The tune sent shivers down our spines; combined with the icy cold brews, the effect was amazing.

Music and drink must be the oldest and best pairing you could ever have. If you’re going to dance your buns off in a Latino Salsa Club then a long cool refreshing Mojito is going to be perfect. Listening to some chilled jazz whist sitting in a leather armchair probably calls for something much stiffer like straight Rum or a Cognac with a big fat cigar, no? AC/DC or the Stones live in a stadium makes me think of dozens of cold pints of weak lager in plastic glasses.

Back in the bar environment, rum punch tastes just perfect if it’s a red hot day and we’ve got some chilled reggae on. Much, much later on, Pina Colada matched with a group of mates all singing “If you like Pina Coladas” at full tilt along to Rupert Holmes would feel amazing.

The trick here is to get these things the right way round.

Here’s a tip for those who find themselves getting thrown out of bars early doors wondering why? If you are drinking at 7PM like its 3AM in the morning you are probably exercising an “inappropriate application of alcohol”.

As bartenders need to read their customers perhaps those special early doors guests could read their bars better.  Or in other words fit in and please don’t spoil it for others!

Stay Whet

Mal Evans

This was not necessarily a crime. It is how many cocktails were originally created, to hide the appalling flavours of cheap hooch, bathtub gin or unholy moonshine.

Today it’s happening all over again with flavoured sugar syrups, jams & a whole variety of stupid cookery ingredients. Unfortunately this time around bartenders aren’t using the cheaper poorer quality spirits but instead choosing top end boutique liquor. This menagerie of ingredients can actually mask some really poor cocktail making.

Bartenders who don’t understand their basic principles of sweet & sour that can’t regularly produce a balanced drink often mask their inabilities by simply adding more ingredients.

The same mistakes are often made with cookery – there are only a small percentage of chefs around who can improve the flavour of a freshly caught fish or a well sourced steak.

The solution to this problem in my opinion would be a well made classic drink. However I recently read an article stating that you needn’t put classic cocktails on a bar menu as everyone should know that they would be available anyway.  I would love to agree but the reality is quite different.

You have to travel a long way to find a decent Margarita, Mai Tai or Manhattan & even further if you wish your second drink to taste anything like your first.

Drink with integrity, stay wet!

Mal x

It’s not much to ask is it really?  For a waitress or bartender to treat you like a human being. But it’s exactly this that will be the failure of the UK bar industry if we allow it to continue.

Recently I was in a bar in London of notable cocktail repute. I had taken a young bartender there to show him around. We sat at the bar and ordered two drinks, which were swiftly delivered with the absolute minimal amount of conversation required to serve a drink.

The bartender plainly showing off had turned his back on us to have an overly loud conversation with his co-worker about who he had been starfucking the night before.

When I asked my young colleague what he thought of the place he was suitably impressed with his drink & the surroundings.

It was clear that we were in the trade and that we were keen to chat as we had sought out this place for that very reason. I was pissed off with the blatant cold shoulder shown to us. So much so I wanted to make a point.

I said to my colleague that yes this is a nice bar but “watch this” I stood up and proceeded to jump up and down ten times waving my arms in the air before sitting back on my barstool to finish my drink. Not one of the two members of staff noticed. We sat just in front of them at the bar and we were their only two customers.

The point was well made. I understand that customers can get their booze cheap from a supermarket and drink it at home but you just cannot recreate the banter that exists in a great bar.

Unfortunately it is all too often taken for granted.

Oh and god forbid if this ever happens to you in MOJO, please let me know who it was that served you so I can make a point out of it!

Stay wet.

Mal